And another Monday has come and nearly gone. After a long weekend of working on my manifesto at my Kaczinski Shack, I returned earlier today, unpacked, got settled and started reading the headlines of the day.
First, of course, I broke my New Years Resolution (no more NFL!) and read accounts of the great games I listened to on the radio out at the shack. That *amazing* Packer victory on Saturday night (and subsequently was disappointed once again that Slocum STILL has not been fired as Special Teams Coach) and the equally amazing rally put forth by the New York Jets to sink Tom Terrific and Bill Bullshitchik's hopes of glory.
And then I saw it.
There it was, leaping off the page at me. The biggest news to hit the Pro Sports World since...since...er...last January. And the January before. And the January before. That's right, folks, Brett Favre is going to retire.
And like a round of gunshots on opening morning of deer season, Facebook was ablaze with the news. Granted, it was mostly in jest, but I couldn't help questioning once again why we (as puppets to the media, and thusly, Favre) were paying any attention at all to a washed up has been drama queen who burned all of his bridges several years ago already.
And here I am, ranting about *that guy* again, adding to it. I'd be ashamed...maybe I still should be...other than I think that now, on the cusp of his (hopefully) final retirement, it might be a good time to revisit the reasons why I never want this shitbag asswipe pile of human garbage to *ever* grace the halls of the Packer Hall of Fame. Oh, sure, he'll make it into Canton, the National Favre League will make certain of that. But please, oh please...on Lombardi's Playbook I plead to the Powers That Be...don't put this festering turd in the Packer Hall of Fame at least until he's left this world.
Let's review, shall we?
Favre came to the Packers from the Atlanta Falcons. Mike Holmgren was in his first year as Green Bay's head coach. Don Majkowski, after battling back from injury after injury, had lost his edge and finally was hauled off the field a final time. Favre impressed the hell out of everyone with his raw talent and his amazing arm...but I remember Jim and Max in the booth quite critical of the boneheadedly stupid moves Favre would make. Holmgren would go apeshit crazy every time this happened.
Holmgren, over the next few seasons, made a great quarterback out of Favre...mostly because Holmgren could keep him under reigns. But it was clear that Favre wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box of 64 and this would only continue.
Favre was a known hard partier around the Green Bay night scene (that is, if you consider Green Bay to have a 'night scene'). He womanized. He developed an alcohol and painkiller addiction. It is at this point that we begin to see a pattern develop...that of a man with an addictive personality. Favre is a tragic character who is hell-bent on self destruction...except at this particular point in time, he's too big to destruct--his legendary status won't allow it. The people of Wisconsin, the team and the press all see him as an Emperor with Beautiful Clothes, not a naked guy in a sedan chair.
Holmgren leaves. Ray Rhodes enters. One can only look back on the Rhodes year (yes, one year) as Head Coach and speculate what might really have been going on, armed with hindsight. I suspect it was a battle of ego between himself and Favre. Favre undoubtedly saw Rhodes as an opportunity to shed the control that Holmgren had over his position and Rhodes seemed to dig in. By mid-season, they had reached an unproductive impass that affected the whole team. After the dazzling success of the Holmgren era, it seemed fitting to fire Rhodes after a disappointing 8-8 season.
Then all hell broke loose. On April 8, 2000 Favre's best friend Mark Chmura was accused of having sex at a Waukesha Catholic Memorial High School party with the then 17-year-old babysitter of his children. What was initially reported by WTMJ 620 AM Radio was that both Favre and Chmura were at the party. Within the first hour of the newscast (between 7 am and 8 am) Favre's name was dropped from further reports. Nothing more was ever said, no explanation was ever given as to why Favre was initially mentioned and why he was suddenly dropped from the report. One can only speculate that since WTMJ 620 AM was and is the flagship station for Packer broadcasts, perhaps a call was made from the offices on Lombardi Avenue to the station. After a lengthy trial, Chmura was tried but found not guilty of all charges. Two days after being acquitted of child enticement and third-degree sexual assault, Chmura acknowledged that his behavior at a post-prom party "wasn't something a married man should do." No mention was ever made again of Brett Favre's presence at that party. Chmura was clearly thrown under the bus, as his career-ending injury just months before made him expendable.
By this time, the monster had been created...Favre must have felt invincible. He had a coach he didn't like fired. He got away with the kiddie pool incident. He had been addicted to drugs and alcohol, yet the fans still loved him and looked the other way.
Enter Mike Sherman. If Favre's issues at this point were a bonfire, Mike Sherman was the White Gas. Mike Sherman, it was observed by one top source within the Packers organization (who will remain nameless here) was afraid of Brett Favre. And so the dance went on between Sherman and Favre, with Favre leading. And the predictable disastrous results...time and again, stupid decisions by Favre on the field went unchecked...until the team had become a mere shadow of it's former self at 4-12.
Late in the Sherman tenure, Favre was already playing the entire organization like a Stradivarius, hinting at retirement even then...several years before he actually 'retired' from the Packers. He'd dance around his intentions, finally committing later and later with each season, messing up Packer drafts and leaving things largely unsettled first til June...then July...then August. The mold had been cast, and Mike Sherman ran the foundry. Moreso than any other figure excluding Favre himself, Sherman is to blame for what this guy became in the end. He allowed it to happen because he couldn't stand up to Favre.
When Thompson was hired, and the following firing of Sherman and replacement with Mike McCarthy, a brief return to the Holmgren days of discipline and control was realized, but only for a short time. Favre clearly resisted at first, then went along with it, then resented it and rebelled, culminating in that disastrous NFC Championship Game interception that, unfortunately, he would repeat once again with the Vikings. Most of the rest of this more recent history we all know and have been brow beaten to death with. But it all makes a lot more sense when you look back and study the development of how this all came to be.
In the end, we have a sad, almost Shakespearian figure. My prediction is that his addiction to the limelight will be his downfall. Once he reaches the point where he can't get any attention from his career, he'll probably get attention in other, unhealthy ways. I would not be surprised to find in 10 years that he had lost his home, family, etc. and was a common drunkard living from friend to friend on handouts.
But do I feel sorry for him? Hell no. Ye reap what ye sow. The things he said about the Packers and Packers fans while he was wearing green, then purple...unforgiveable. And then today, after reading the story on his 'retirement', he has the unmitigated GALL to congratulate the Packers and say how they are the best team in the NFL and how he hopes they win it all? What an insult to our intelligence. That arrogant prick thinks he can get in good graces with the Packer Nation that easily? Fat chance, fuckface. We're not going to retire #4 EVER, if I were to have any say about it (which I don't). I'd reassign it to a goddamned punter.
We have long memories here in Wisconsin. We're fiercely loyal...but once that loyalty is betrayed, look out. We owe Brett Favre nothing. He owes us everything. And he pissed down our backs and told us it was raining.
Don't go away mad, Brett. Just go away.
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